INCOMING! KILLER SPAM SCAM PORN FLOOD INCOMING!

Hold on tight, folks, because a massive flood of spam is about to explode down on your email. We're talking horrendous amounts of phony emails packed with sick porn. These bastards are trying to scam you out of your hard-earned money, so be totally vigilant. Don't click on any buttons in these emails, and flag them immediately. Don't get caught!